Darla's sad night
*WARNING* THIS POST CONTAINS PICTURES THAT MIGHT BOTHER THE SQUEEMISH.
I worked a 12 hour shift on Monday and at 8 PM, when I finally got to leave work and head home, I left with anticipation of coming home to a doe who I knew was getting close to kidding.
Darla, our first and oldest doe- our 2 year old and second year freshener- had been acting a little different starting on Sunday. She was separating herself from the herd, laying in a small shed that she never lays in and didn't eat her full ration of grain on the milkstand that morning. Things that made me think her kidding day was coming soon. I have a great neighbor and fellow goat lady who also raises Nubians, she graciously came over to my house throughout the day on Monday checking on Darla and sent me text messages to keep me posted. My husband and boys went to their baseball practice around 6 PM and said that Darla was walking with the herd acting normal at that time.
At 8:15 PM, when I stepped out my of car onto my driveway, I heard Darla's scream. My heart raced and so did I, through the house, grabbing the birthing kit and a couple towels and ran to the stall where I heard the screams coming from. There I found Darla laying on her side, screaming, with a very large buckling's head and some of his shoulders hanging out of her. I pulled the buckling out and began wiping him vigorously. It was obvious within a minute that he was not going to be revived. I reached in my pocket for my phone to call my neighbor and husband but realized I left my phone in the house.
Going by my experience with Darla last year, now that Darla's first kid was delivered, I was expecting the second kid to come fairly quickly. But after waiting for about half an hour and no second kid, I ran into the house to get my phone and called my neighbor and husband for help. They showed up within a few minutes and Darla still didn't delver her second kid. My neighbor advised me to take the dead buckling out of the pen so that Darla could concentrate on delivering her next kid. Darla had been nudging and licking and "talking" to her enormous dead buckling trying to wake him up. It was so sad to watch and part of me didn't want to take him away to let her come to grips with him not getting up. But I didn't want her labor to stop either. So we removed the buckling from the pen and it was at that point that we realized how heavy and large he was.
10 or more minutes went by with no second kid as we all watched her. We got ahold of our vet by phone and he talked us through doing an internal exam to feel for more goat kids. All I could feel was something lumpy, but nothing that felt like a goat kid. My husband, neighbor and kids decided to go home and to bed about a half hour after my exam of Darla as we all felt she must be done kidding. I decided to stay with her because I just couldn't believe there was only one kid in her. I hunkered down in the cold, damp straw with my two layers of Carhart jackets and my hoodie, towels in hand, ready to catch or pull the next kid I saw coming. The minutes and hours ticked by as Darla's labor seemed to stop, but her bewildered look, pushed back ears and restlessness told me whatever was going on wasn't over. I was expecting another kid, possibly in distress, but I wasn't expecting a mummified goat fetus that had been dead for quite some time. And that's just what Darla delivered at about midnight.
After that delivery her resltessness and bewilderment continued so I decided to stick it out with her in the goat pen, thinking there might be another. By 5 AM, I just couldn't see how there could be any more kids. I put Darla on the milk stand and milked out her colustrum to save for future goat babies that may need to be bottle fed. This seemed to give her some relief. She found a soft spot and laid down, so I decided to go lay down too. After being awake for 24 hours and feeling emotionally spent by all I had just seen, I fell asleep. But not for long.
At 7 AM I was awakened by Darla's cries and went out to find her contracting and screaming. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know if this was labor, if she was crying for her kids, if she was in pain... I just didn't know what to think.
Thankfully, my neighbor came over and contacted a group of fellow goat people asking them for advice. They were all so helpful! Taking their advice, I decided to do another pelvic exam on Darla to see if there were any more goat kids- dead or alive- in there. I felt nothing but soft tissue and could only get 3 fingers in her. As I spent time with her in the pen she calmed down and I realized she was just calling for her babies.
Tonight, as I went out to check on her, knowing I had done all I could do, knowing she had eaten, and drank plenty of water, knowing I had cleaned her up and milked her out three times, knowing I had comforted her and had given her a soft, dry place to sleep, I felt the helpless knot tighten my throat. There she was, whimpering out in the stall, walking around, looking for her babies. There was not a thing I could do. But I looked up in the moonlit sky and sighed a hopeful, longing sigh. "One day you'll make all things new." I whispered.
All creation groans, even a female goat who labored to birth two dead bucklings, because she is subject to my sin. And yours. Our wrongs don't just hurt the immediate parties involved, they have cause all creation to suffer from death and pain and confusion and loss. Even a momma goat in Surprise, Arizona.
For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.
For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. -Romans 8:19-23
